4 months!

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Sofia!!!
Happy Birthday to you!!!

I can't believe it's been 4 months.  Like I keep saying, in many ways it feels like she just got here and at the same time it feels like we've always had her.

Miss Sofia is growing and learning new things everyday.  She is attempting to eat cereal, but that isn't going quiet so well...

Why can't I get it to sit correctly?? Anyway, this was yesterday's attempt at cereal. NONE got in her mouth.  I realize it's a little early but we'll keep trying.

Sofia is becoming VERY grabby.  She will pull my hair right out, pull at my face, and even left quite a scratch across my cheek the other day.  I honestly think that if my reflexes slow down she will be able to grab my eyeball out because she's gotten pretty close.  Man is she strong!  I trim her nails but they're still sharp like nails.  Maybe I should trim and file...mmm...that makes sense.

She is rolling over but not very often with me because by the time I get home, it's almost time for bed and we use the sleep positioner.  Russ says she's rolling over a lot though. 

She sleeps A LOT!  Is she alone when she does this?  Not usually, but that's alright with me.  We usually put her down either on her chair or in her crib at around 6.  She'll sleep on her own (yes, without us right there!) until 9 or 10 or whenever she needs to eat.  Then Russ feeds her and stays with her in her room where she'll sleep until 3 or 4 and then go right back to sleep until 7 or 8.  Even though there are interruptions, she sleeps for 12-14 hours every night.  And then she'll take good long naps during the day too.  She likes her sleep, just like her momma!  My mom keeps bugging me that she should be able to go 8 hours without waking up to eat.  Well, she doesn't and what does she want me to do??  Most of the time, when she does wake up it's because she has gas.  So the gas wakes her and then she's like "Wait...my belly is empty.  What's the deal?  Feed me, please!"  I think she wouldn't wake up hungry if not for the gas.  And she HAS slept 8 hours a few times, but it's just not the norm yet.  We're getting there.  And all three of us are happy with how things are going.

Biggest 4 month event?  Well, today (right NOW!), Sofia is at her babysitters house!  Alone!  Meaning neither her momma or daddy are there with her!  Russ brought her by this morning for a little trial run because she's starting there on Jan. 3.  He went and hung out for a while and then left!  Ahhh!!  It's been a little over an hour that she's been on her own.  And I know she's fine.  But I keep thinking that if she gets upset and we're not there, what will she do?  She doesn't cry hardly at all, but what if she does now because she's with strangers??  They'll think it's normal because babies cry...but not OUR baby!  I can't remember the last time she cried during the day...sometimes she does at night if we're not fast enough with the bottle. 

She's going to be OK.  Take a deep breath.

Let's look at some recent pictures of her, shall we?  That won't help me take my mind off of it, but who cares? =)

One Year

Sofia is 17 weeks and 1 day old

One year ago today, Sofia started her morning in a petrie dish up in Rockville, MD.  Later that day, she and two of her sibling blastocysts were transferred into me and the rest is history.  Sofia has been with us for one year now.  I can't believe how much has changed in only a year.  I can't believe that the little cell I saw in the picture they gave me has turned in the beautiful baby girl that lights up my world.  What did we do before she was here?  I don't know and I don't really care to remember.  Because she is here.  She is ours.  We made her.  And nothing can ever take that away.

At work with Momma

Sofia is 16 weeks and 3 days old

So one of my favorite things about Russ staying home with Sofia these days is that they get to com and visit me!!  I work in a huge secondary school that houses students in grade 7-12.  I only work with the 7th and 8th graders, but all of the students are around.  Today they came and visited and we got to walk around to show off Sofia to my teacher friends and students who have heard all about her.  It wasn't her first visit here, but it was one where we went out and about a lot and mingled with everyone here, aside from the usuals who see her often.  It's so good to see her during my day and everyone is so excited to see her too.  She is one loved baby girl.

And this morning, she officially rolled over!!!  I think she would have done so already, except we always have her in her sleep positioner, so Russ has been working on letting her on her back without it so that she can roll and she did!  She's getting so big!!

The drool situation is CRAZY!  It just drips out of her like a faucet.  And everything goes into her mouth.  Seems early for teething, but I suppose it could be starting now.  We are going to try to give her some cereal tomorrow for the first time!  I'm so excited.  I know we should wait until her 4 month appt but I'm impatient.  And plus the amount of cereal she'll actually be eating is like nothing AND it'll be mixed with so much formula, I doubt she'll notice.  I'm just excited about using a spoon!!  We need to get it on video.

That's all for now....Next Friday is her official 4 month birthday.  I can't believe it's been that long.  And what they say is true - it just keeps getting better and better. 

Santa!

Sofia is 16 weeks old today.

On Saturday, we visited Santa Claus and it was awesome!!  I had asked friends via Facebook where the best Santa was for Sofia's first visit and overwhelmingly, people suggested a garden center nearby where they have the "Real Santa".  (It's Merrifield Garden Center in Fairfax if any locals are interested).  It lived up to the hype and had me in tears of joy throughout the visit. 

Before Santa invited families to visit with him in his sleigh room, he addressed the crowd from a platform above.  He spoke of the true meaning of Christmas and took questions from the children.  He then explained that toys break and become undesirable over time and what he really wants for all of us is "written in the clouds" and he pointed to the wall where there were clouds hanging that said things like "love", "peace", "wisdom", "kindness", etc.  It was beautiful. 

After reciting "The Night Before Christmas" and singing Rudolph with us all, he invited the families back, stating that infants go first so that we don't have to wait so long - we were first!  We went to the back where he invited the first 6-8 families into his sleigh room.  He then did activities with them and finally said "There's a baby waiting..." and I gave him Sofia and he spoke to her for a good 2-3 minutes, saying "Sofia, one day you'll sit on my lap and ask for a new doll or game or book.... Now I want you to remember what Christmas is about..." and he went on about love and joy in our hearts.  Russ is trying to take pictures the whole time.  Then he invites me to sit with him and for Russ to pose in the back and he gave us, the parents, advice about Christmas.  We got that part on video.  He must have spent a solid 5 minutes with us and Sofia doesn't even talk back!  I can't imagine the time he takes with the children who can interact!

It was a lovely time and we are so glad we went!!  (Did I mention it was all FREE?)  This is the best picture we got.  They all came out blurry for some reason =( but we have the video too so that's good.

Fear

Sofia is 15 weeks and 2 days today

I teach parenting classes to parents of adolescents.  Being a middle school counselor, I have insight on what is going on with teenage boys and girls and my expertise lies in my experience with working with them every day.  I've taught hundreds of parents and their issues with their kids almost always come down to one thing: fear.  They are afraid their child will fail out of school, they are afraid their child will do drugs, their afraid their child will not become the person they've hoped and dreamed they would become.  They are afraid of their child hating them.  They are afraid that their child will embarrass them.  Fear, fear, fear. 

I try to help these parents see that if they become hung up on the fear, they will lose their child.  When the parents are only concerned with the "what if", they lose the now.  I'll ask them "What is the worst thing that can happen?" when they're scared that their child isn't getting the grades that they could be getting for instance.  The worst thing that can happen is that they'll drop out of school and become a homeless drug addict.  When I say that, they realize that they know nothing that bad is going to happen and they start to see that what they really are afraid of is the child not living up to their expectations.  Or perhaps they're afraid that they'll be embarrassed when all the neighbors kids are going to a good university and they're child is going to community college.  Again, I say, if we live in the fear of "what if", we lose the child.  If we connect with the child we have, right here, right now, we can create the relationship that will lead to the creation of a whole person.  A child who becomes an adult that can make good decisions and live a healthy, prosperous life.  I always say "We're making people here!"  And that the important thing is who they are  - their character.  Not their status.  There's obviously much more to it, but that's a little overview of some of what I cover.

So yesterday, I realized that my own fears are already at play and I need to get a grip on them.  When Sofia cries, my immediate fear of colic arises intensely.  I think "Oh my god - what if she has colic?"  What if I have to admit to others that she's not perfect?  What if the colic makes me think negative thoughts towards her?  What if she isn't a pleasant child?  What if people don't like her?  Now, at this point, I know that we're out of the colic woods and maybe she did/does have it mildly.  But the point is, I am in constant fear of this whole baby thing not living up to my hopes and dreams and she's not even 4 months old yet!!!

So I know what I need to do.  I need to accept every moment with her as the gift that it is.  I need to accept her as she is and love her no matter what.  These sound like obvious and easy things.  I know that they are not.  I know how insidious the thoughts can be and I also know that kids pick up on all that stuff and even if you don't say it, they sense a parent's fear and disappointment. 

And so, Sofia, while I realize there is a lot of pressure on you, our "miracle baby", to be perfect, please know that whatever you do, whoever you are, I love and accept you and will try my best to make sure you know that every moment of your life.