Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Birth Story

Day 14

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since Sofia was born!  In many ways, it feels impossible that so much time has passed and yet in other ways, it feels like a million years ago that it all happened.

On August 17 (37 weeks, 5 days) at about 4:45 am, I felt what i thought was a kick/gas combo.  It felt like a little explosion down in my belly.  I had been awake and I doubt it was strong enough to have woken me if I'd been sleeping.  I thought that perhaps I needed to visit the bathroom and as i was walking, I thought I peed (how do you spell that??) myself which was weird because I didn't think I had the urge, but crazier things have happened so I didn't question it.  When I sat down in the bathroom, it was very obvious what had occurred.  I was WET!  And it had a faint pink tinge to it.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  This was it, it was happening NOW. 

I took some deep breaths (but I was already shaking) and called out to Russ.  I called his name a couple times and then said "We have something here!"  Isn't that the oddest choice of phrases?  I don't know where that came from.  He came to the bathroom and I told him my water broke.  We just sort of looked at each other like "OK, now what???"  I called the dr, got the answering service and one of the drs called back within 5 minutes.  I told her my water broke and she said I should go to the hospital.  I had not experienced any contractions, but she felt there was great evidence that the baby was on the way.

Next step was calling my parents who live 8 hours away.  Our hope was that they would get there in time for the birth, but I was worried.  I called, waking them up and shocking my mom.  They immediately went into pack up and get out mode and were on the road within 45 minutes or so.  At this point, I knew I had 24 hours to get her out and I wanted to stall to give my parents more time.  I told Russ that while I wanted to get to the hospital, I wasn't in a big hurry. 

At this point we started gathering things to bring, although I was already packed and pretty much ready to go.  I also jumped in the shower so that I could be clean and shaved for who knew when my next shower would be, right?  Russ had to take care of some logistical things like moving my car out into the street so my dad could park in my spot.  He also decided that now would be a good time to eat 3 hot dogs.  WHAT?  Yeah...he knew it was going to be a long day and I was impressed that he thought ahead to eat since some days he eats nothing until 9 pm.  I thought 3 hot dogs was a little excessive, but who am I to judge? =)

Have I mentioned that once I had the initial break, it just kept flowing and flowing and flowing?  I'd sit on the toilet for 10 minutes and be sure it was done, then get up to get ready to go and within 30 seconds of standing, it would come pouring out again leaving puddles on the floor!  It was a lot!!! 

Finally it was time to go down to the car.  Remember I live on the 7th floor of a high rise condo.  Russ was going to meet me in the front of the building so I didn't have to walk too far.  I rolled up a wash cloth and stuck it in my panties (was wearing a dress) in an attempt to make it down there dry.  No such luck.  In the elevator with 2 of my neighbors, I feel it start to drip and by the time I got off, i was leaving a trail through the lobby!  Great.  We had a waterproof pad ready to go in the car, but I leaving puddles everywhere!

We got the hospital in 10 minutes or less and went right up to labor and delivery.  Still no contractions so I was really calm and ready to go.  They hooked me up to the monitor and we knew that the baby was doing well.  I told them that I was supposed to have a c-section but that maybe I could try laboring (???) and they said they'd wait til the dr came and checked me out.  I was honest and said that I really wanted my parents to be there but that top priority went to making sure baby girl came safely.

They checked my fluid to be sure it was amniotic (gosh - what else could it have possibly been???) and reported that my cervix was barely 1 cm.  No progress since the Friday before.  My dr came in and said her head was up pretty high.  She said I could labor and they could try pitocin to get it going.  I was not a fan of that idea.  In my mind, I felt like we could start labor that way but wouldn't we just end up doing a c-section anyway??  She felt that it would likely be the case - remember they still thought i had a giant baby in me.  She said we could wait it out and see if labor would start naturally but that we'd lose our place in the c-section schedule and that could mean we wouldn't get it until really late if we ended up needing that which we probably would.  She also told me that it's safer to do a c-section without laboring first so that the uterus doesn't get "tired" and make me bleed too much after. 

It seemed pretty clear that we needed to go ahead and just do the c-section.  By this time, my parents were about 5 hours away and I thought maybe they would schedule it for the afternoon and just maybe they'd make it.  I called my parents and explained the situation and that it was very possibly they would miss but that we'd try.  They agreed that getting her out was the way to go and aside from my parents not being there, I wanted her out ASAP.  So we told the dr to go ahead with it, not knowing when we would be scheduled for the procedure.

Little by little my nurse starts coming in with things for us.  The scrubs for Russ, a cap for me... I see she's now wearing little booties over her shoes.  I'm like "Um......are we doing this soon???"  In a word: YES.  I looked back at my phone and saw that I spoke to my parents at 9:41.  Well, I was in the operating room prepping by 10:15!!!!  They got us right in!  And that was a good thing because it meant I had no time to get nervous. 

Except for that I was totally nervous!  Shaking like leaf is more like it!  I was told we would do a spinal/epidural combo.  The spinal provides the major stuff but then the catheter is left in to provide me with continuing pain meds.  In case I hadn't mentioned it before, this procedure is what I was most afraid of.  And I'm not saying it hurt...it really didn't.  Pain isn't the word.  But i hated it.  I felt like it took forever and I just wanted to cry.  I know it was just nerves and it honestly wasn't pain but just an uncomfortable feeling that I never had before.  And I thought it would take like 2 minutes and it felt like it would never end.  The nurses were so sweet, holding my hand and I kept grabbing them and apologizing.

Once it was in, they layed me back and I literally was shaking so hard you could see my movement.  Was it cold?  Yeah, but this was more than shivers, I was a wreck.  Thankfully the nurse told me that once the spinal hit, I would feel like I couldn't breath but that it shouldn't freak me out, I could still breath even though it felt like  a truck sitting on top of me.  She was right!  All of the sudden, I felt like I couldn't feel myself breathing and had I not known to expect that, I would have hyperventilated for sure.  Instead I just took deep breaths that felt shallow and tried to relax.

Then Russ came in the room and the procedure started.  They started poking me to see if I could feel things.  Some things I felt, but it wasn't pain.  They kept asking "Is it PAIN?" and I'd say well...no.  But I figured numb is numb and I should feel anything.  Regardless I did not feel the cut and that's all that matters right? 

There were like 15 people in the room and I really wish someone had thought to tell what they were doing.  I would have liked a play by play, but that didn't happen.  When the time came, the nurse said OK, lots of pressure now.  At this point, they pushed so hard on my abdomen (right below my breast bone), I thought for sure I'd be sore for weeks.  They literally squeezed her out like a tube of toothpaste.  Lots of pressure and then a "There's a face..." and before I knew it she was out and we heard the cry and they brought her over to the warmer and started cleaning her.  I could barely see her out of the corner of my eye, but she was there!!!  Safe and sound.

After what seemed like forever, they finally brought her over to me for a 5 second peek and then whisked and her daddy off for tests and stuff.  Now it was time to put me back together.  They mentioned that a sedative would be given after birth to relax me during this part.  I was definitely in and out but it sure felt like it took forever.

Next thing I knew I was in recovery and feeling nauseous.  Does anyone remember the one thing I wanted to avoid on this day?  Yes, it was feeling sick to my stomach.  Well, no such luck.  I threw up pretty quickly and that lasted all day.  Gotta love dry heaves.  Ugh.......  But I had my baby girl there and she was healthy (practically perfect APGAR of 9/9 whoot whoot!). 

I know there's more to tell, but this has been a long post, don't you think?  I'll fill in more details another time.  Specifically how awesome the whole hospital experience was.  It was like being at a resort.  Sort of.

As I sit here (on my first day home alone with Sofia!), she is starting to get restless, so I gotta go be a mama.

Watch for the next post where I must talk about the hormone plummet and how I'm dealing with that!  Man, I cry a lot.  Until next time....

Thursday, August 26, 2010


I know...I KNOW!  I left you hanging...and I'm sorry.  Since this baby girl has been born HEALTHY AND STRONG, I have thought of nothing else.  NOTHING else...not french fries or TV or anything.  OK, so I thought about you guys, but did not take any time to update you and I'm sorry - don't be too mad.

In a nutshell, Sofia is here.  She is PERFECTION.  She has brought with her more joy than I could have ever expected.  I look at her and weep at least 10 times a day.  I can't believe she is ours and get to keep her.  Every cliche about motherhood I've ever heard is true...corny, but true =).

I can't believe I can survive on such little sleep and not care one bit.  She's a good (I say PERFECT) baby with a happy disposition but she definitely has her days and nights confused so her fussy time (not really that bad but compared to her angelic daytime self but more troublesome) is from 10 pm - 3am but we don't care!  Feeding is the hardest part and I'm just saying that I don't like breastfeeding.  I don't have a huge milk supply and am feeling pressure to perform for her and that sucks.  We are supplementing with formula.  They say my milk will increase but it's already 9 days...we'll see.  If I can't sustain, i won't be upset.  I just want her fed and happy.

I'll give more details another day...for now, here she is...my love.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Here we go!!!


My water broke!!!  I got up to pee at around 4:45 am and GUSH!  And it hasn't stopped gushing since!  It was pink at first but now a nice clear, normal color.  We're leaving for the hospital as soon as Russ finishes eating a hot dog - haha!!!  He needs to build his strength.  I'm trying to stall to wait for my parents but we'll see if that happens or not... Probably won't be able to post for a while, so this is it until after she gets here!!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

10 Days and Counting


Did somebody say FULL TERM?

Oh yeah!!!  That's us.  We're full term.  She can come any day and that's perfectly fine.  I really can't believe it.  Today it's 10 days away from when she's scheduled to come.  That means that she'll be here in ten days at most, could be even shorter.  Woo hoo!

Had 3 appts today...you know the drill.  Endocrinologist (thyroid and diabetes), specialist for the weekly NST and scan, and my regular OB.  Everything looks good.  I've made no progress since last week so that means I'm still just fingertip dilated, so I have a feeling she'll stay put until the 23rd.

How do I feel?  Like a truck hit me.  I literally can't walk.  My legs don't work, my butt is killing me, and back pain came on again today in a terrible way.  I'm pathetic.  Right now as I write this, I'm sitting on a wood chair and I can barely stand to sit another minute because it hurts so bad.  What is wrong with me?  If anything you'd think my ass would have more padding right now!

Anyway, this weekend we will be getting the house in shape for my parents to come next weekend.  They're planning on getting here next Sunday so we can all go to the hospital that Monday morning and have a baby.  Yay!!!

Saturday, August 7, 2010



The word that sums up my week?  OUCH.

Everything hurts.  Well, not everything.  And nothing really baby related (as in nothing that indicates anything could be wrong with her or my parts as they relate to her in that area).  However, I feel as if I've been literally hit by a truck.

My BONES hurt. 

I can't sit on my fat ass.  What's a girl to do?  Literally right now, I am sitting on a pillow and I know that when i get up, I will be so sore that it will take all day for me to get over it.  The pain is very similar to how you feel when you ride a bike for the first time in a long time and also a lot like doing 1,000 lunges.  And yet, I do not believe it is muscular primarily.  I believe it is my joints.  A butt joint?  I don't know...that one's a mystery but I'm thinking maybe the joint where my legs join my butt.  At this point in pregnancy, the cartilage becomes very soft so that the pelvis can open wide and let her out.  The dr says that while this is unusual, it makes sense that I might have some arthritis-like pain.  But in my butt?  I also have it bad in my hands (each morning I have to physically bend each finger with my other hand in order to move them) and my knees (hurt so bad to bend them first thing in the morning that I could scream), but what's up with my ass?  Driving?  Hurts bad and I think when I drove 2 hours the other day I caused what I'm now recovering from now, cause it's bad.  Sorry to be such a complainer, but this just sucks.

In other news, baby girl is great.  My NST and scan shows that she's healthy and strong.  Her fluid level was better this week (last week it was so high they felt my sugar was up and HER kidneys were working overtime to compensate causing excess fluid.  GUILT).  I am 1/2 cm dilated!!  Dr said I could definitely hang on until Aug 23 (c-section is scheduled, 8am!) or I could go into labor tomorrow.  So anything is possible.

The nursery is just about 100% done!!  I want to add the finishing touches before I share pics (I'm always promising pics and never follow through, sorry.  I only know how to upload photos from my phone and even then it's only through email and I copy and paste them, I need to learn - I know!).  It turned out to be way more low-key than I thought it would be.  We don't want it to be too busy.  Once she's here, there's bound to be some clutter so the cleaner we start out, the better it will look once day to day life begins.

I can't believe that she will definitely be here in just over 2 weeks!!  WE ARE READY.  Bring it on!