Thursday, January 20, 2011

Reflections...

Just like they say, nothing really prepares you for becoming a parent.  I read EVERYTHING I could get my hands on.  I know about development, sleep schedules, feeding, and anything else you can think of.  I thought I knew it all and was prepared for anything parenthood threw at us.  We braced ourselves for our life to change.  We knew it would be a ton of work.  We knew we wouldn't be sleeping.  We knew that getting out of the house would become a chore.  We knew that our time would never be just ours every again.  We were prepared for that.

What we weren't prepared for was how joyful every single moment would be.  When we spend an hour rocking her to sleep, put her down in her crib and sit down to dinner only to find her stirring because her pacifier fell out, it is with joy that I go into her room and replace it and/or spend 20 minutes settling her back down. I have never, not once, huffed or puffed about having to do anything for her.  When she has poop up to her NECK, I giggle and wonder how in the world that happened.  When I get her all dressed up, tights on, bundled up and out the door only to hear the "squish, squish, squirt!" of a dirty diaper, I happily turn around and undo everything for a diaper change.  And love that I get more changing table time (she's especially sweet and playful at diaper change time and we sing songs and smile and laugh).  And the traditionally fun times?  Like morning wake up, baths, and general playtime?  Forget about it - it's better than Disney World.

I did not expect this part of the deal.  I thought I'd be at work every day complaining about how exhausted I am.  When i went back to work, people asked if I was upset about leaving her.  While I'd love to be home with her, I can't help but smile ALL DAMN DAY because I get to go home to the sweetest thing ever created.  People comment on how content and happy I am now.  I'm not a new mom mess, all disheveled and covered in spit up.  My life has been nothing but enhanced in every single way.  I was not expecting all that.

This mommy thing?  It's good.  It's real good.  And my heart is full of prayers for all of you mommies-to-be who haven't had their miracle yet.  It's coming.  Keep the faith that you'll get the privilege of experiencing this too.

5 comments:

  1. You are incredible. Seriously. That is the luckiest baby to have you as a mama. And we're all lucky to have you as a blog-friend. It's so wonderful to see someone fully enjoying the mommy experience. I can't believe people still find reasons to complain when you're fortunate enough to have a child... :)

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  2. Tracey this makes my heart melt. Truthfully, makes me so happy. I spoke to your cousin recently and without really knowing that we had "met" he told me your story, trying to console me. He very specifically remembered the Christmas you were waiting to find out if your fifth attempt worked and how "unpresent" you were at the time, and what a different person you are now, how little Sofia had changed your life. Little did he know, how long you have been an inspiration to me..(I outted myself to him saying you read my blog). I love that he used you and your story as my hope and inspiration to not stop trying.

    Some women stop following blogs once the writer become pregnant and has a baby, it's painful for them and I get that. But what they are missing out on definately out weighs the hurt of seeing others go on and feeling left behind. Reading your blog and watching you and your family grow in joy, brings me joy, hope and happiness. Especially on days where I feel really discouraged. Besides all of that though, I have found & made a new friend. I could not walk away from that, a kindred spirit. :)

    I am so happy you still write and share your journey of motherhood. As long as you continue to do so, I will continue to read. xoxoxoxoxox

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  3. RIGHT THERE WITH YA, GIRL!! Motherhood totally rocks!!!!

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  4. thanks for your encouraging words on my blog. Your post brings me so much joy as it shows how much you appreciate being a mom. Not that we IFers (would) appreciate it MORE than fertiles (ha! sarcastic!)

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