Thursday, May 13, 2010

Viability Achieved


WARNING:  This  turned out to be a loooooong post...hopefully worth your time though.

First things first.  For those of you who remember, my bloggy friend Jo (at MoJo Working) and I were on the exact same cycle and both were thrilled to get BFPs back in December.  We even had the exact same due date!  I was so happy to have someone to go through the whole journey with day by day, week by week.  Sadly, she lost her pregnancy at 6 weeks.  It was a devastating loss for her, but she got right back up on that horse for another cycle that resulted in a BFP!!!  Her second beta numbers doubled beautifully and she awaiting her ultrasound in two weeks when she'll get to see that heartbeat.  Congratulations Jo!!!

So here I am at 24 weeks which is exciting because it's when baby girl is considered "viable" which means that she has a decent shot of making it outside the womb should I go into preterm labor or if anything else bad were to happen.  Not that we want her coming early, but it's comforting to know that should something happen, there's a decent chance (like 50%, a stat that keeps going up and up as the weeks pass) that she'll survive. 

I've been looking in the mirror lately and thinking "Man, I look pregnant!" And it honestly surprises me.  I can't believe this all happening.  It truly feels like a dream - and I don't mean that in a fluffy way.  I mean that in a "I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up to my childless reality soon" way.  It brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it in a real way.

So anyway, it's occurred to me that I've been sucking at giving the details of this pregnancy.  I know I talk about all that crazy stuff in my head, but I need to document my physical changes too.  So here's a little update...Thanks for Priscilla and Emily for the template (Amber, do you do this too? I can't remember...)

How far along:
24 weeks (that's about 6 months - people keep asking me to tell them in months because they're math skills are weak I guess...)
Total Weight Gain: would probably be good if I weighed myself.  I meant to do it every Thursday but I forget all the time.  At last count (2 weeks ago), it was 18 pounds.  Seems like a lot to me and I'm sure it's much more by now...Who's surprised?  The weird thing is (at least my mom thinks it's weird) the doctor has not once mentioned my weight or weight gain in general or said one thing about anything having to do with weight.  Is that strange?  I came into this already  overweight (I mean not crazy big, but I had a goooood 30-40 pounds to lose...that might be a lie but I don't feel like doing the math...suffice it to say that I can tell you how many weight watcher points are in almost anything) so you'd think they'd tell me to not gain too much.  Huh.
Swelling of my feet!! Oh my.  Over the weekend, I got them back to normal and then they were OK Monday and Tuesday but by yesterday my feet blew up again.  I'm trying to keep them elevated (OK, I just lied.  I'm not trying at all really) and avoiding salty food helps, but I think it's just sitting at my desk and not having those feet up that's doing it.

Also, I am definitely having contractions.  And naturally I'm obsessing about them.  They seem to come in the evening, but aren't too frequent and definitely don't hurt or anything.  It just feel like I'm blowing up for a few seconds (maybe 10-20 seconds) and then it's done.  They say it's normal and I'm trying (really I am) to not obsess with worry too much.
And the kicking!  Girlfriend is all over the place!  The week started out a little less active (and, yes, I worried) but not she's back in full force!

Stretch Marks:
I honestly haven't seen any, but I haven't inspected closely either.  I already had belly issue, so I guess I'm not that concerned.
I'm up every 60-90 minutes...maybe once per night I can go 2 hours without a bathroom break.  Some nights, when I get up near 3 am, I can't get back to sleep and banish myself to the couch.  Last night this happened at 4 am.  But I go to the couch and manage to fall asleep for a little bit.  I wish I were sleeping more soundly but it just ain't happening...
Best Moment Last Week:
This one is really, really hard!  It would have to be getting our chair, while not in the nursery yet (because we still need to clean it out and paint), I'm loving that I can sit there and imagine nursing baby girl Sofia on it.  We opted to not get a glider.  It's a chair and a half with a huge ottoman to match.  Russ wanted to be able to sit on it with us and bond.  Oh, that might be the other best moment.  Last night Russ was excited when I told him I might teach parenting classes in October while on maternity leave.  It would be one night per week and will be a good way to make some bucks to help get me some more leave time. (I usually teach parenting classes all year long) So when I asked him about it, he said "Do it! Then I get to have her to myself for a whole night and we can bond!"  So cute.  He's worried he won't bond because he won't be feeding her for a while.
See above.  Also, I notice she's super active at night - and like all night long!  It doesn't wake me, but it could keep me up when I get up for bathroom visits.  I just sit there and feel here and don't go to sleep.
Food Cravings:
Nothing in particular...though I could have chana and naan at the kabob place every single day.
What I Miss:
Cuddling in bed.  I have that huge pillow (not a pregnancy pillow but just a king size regular pillow as a barrier between us and I feel like we may as well be in separate beds.  Also, Diet Mountain Dew!!!  Oh how I miss you! (technically I can have it, but am choosing not to)
What am I looking forward to:
Anatomy Scan part 2 tomorrow.  I love that we get to sneak another peak!!  Also, invitations for my shower are going out soon and that's just thrilling.
24 weeks!!! Viability!

How is Daddy? 
He's fabulous, of course.  Yes, he was upset with me earlier this week when I caused myself to bleed, panicked, and then figured out it was nothing.  This might be TMI, so do not continue reading if you don't want to hear about adventures in coochyland.

Alright, so you know how I worry?  A lot?  Well, I was thinking (once again) that I might be leaking.  And they told me once that I should check my discharge to see if it is milky (good) or watery (bad).  How do you suggest I do that?  I can't think of any other way than sticking a digit or two up there and inspecting.  I have a panty liner on so I can't check what's left on it since it's white.  So when I feel worried about the discharge consistency, that is what I do. (and I'll have you know that the frequency of me doing this has decreased SIGNIFICANTLY over the past several weeks...this was just a bad day)

OK, so I do my check and see that it is indeed a normal, milky creamy consistency - yay!  But while I'm collecting, I myself in there...ouch.  Didn't think much of it until about 10 minutes later when I wiped (cause crazy me was BACK in the bathroom AGAIN) and saw a little speck of blood.  Panic lasted for only about 3 seconds before I determined that the blood was so red and so small, it definitely looked like a surface cut or something.  Hmm...what could it be?  Oh yeah, I just scratched the inside of my vagina.  That's right.  I made it bleed.  Still I wanted verification that I wasn't bleeding from my uterus so I called Russ so that he could come home and visually inspect the blood source (he's a trooper, that boy). 

By the time he called me back, the bleeding stopped and I told him the story and he decided to come home anyway (even though I told him it was all fine now).  So he comes home and I tell him there is no reason for him to look up in the cooch for any reason.  Well...he was mad.  For a couple reasons.  The first was that I had caused him to be scared even if it was for just a second before I explained that it was all better.  Second (and more strongly), he was mad that I caused any amount of worry for either of us.  He kept saying "Did the doctor tell you to stick your finger up there?  Are you supposed to be doing that?" I equate "check your discharge" with "stick your finger up your cooch" so I say yes. 

Anyway, that boy sat in the bedroom for 40 minutes.  Just sitting.  No TV.  No phone.  Finally I had to explain that I realize I am crazy but that he needs to understand how scared I am.  He was kind and said he did understand but that it's frustrating because there are so many things nature can cause, he doesn't like me making my own problems.  And then everything was better.  Yesterday, though?  When I called him to let him know I was on my way home and would see him later that evening?  He responded with a sweet "Keep your fingers out of your vagina please".  That's love.


  1. Hahaha.....vagina scratcher. It's not funny...but it kind of is!

    Glad it turned out to be nothing!!!

    Yayyyy for viability!!!!

  2. Tracy that made me laugh out loud girl.. you are hilarious!!
    Thats wonderful news about viability.... and thank you for being such a precious friend to me over the past few months

  3. LMAO!!!!! Russ is awesome!!!!

  4. I loved the baby updates!!! Thanks for doing that! And Russ is a very funny man...I love it! I have caused myself to bleed as well and oen RE told me to stop sticking my fingers up there. I was like, well how am I supposed to know what my CM is like?! Good gravy!!! Congrats on the mile marker! Only 12 weeks to go?!

  5. You are hilarious!!! I hope you will print this blog out for Sofia to see just how much she is loved. I'm not sure many other babies can say that their momma scratched their own va-jay-jays for them! ;)

  6. Tracey, thank you so much for the kind words. I'm glad that I decided to keep following your blog, even though it was hard sometimes. Still, I wanted to keep up on what would have been happening -- it made my experience more real, somehow. Like it wasn't just a random fluke, you know?

    Anyway, you've been amazingly supportive and a wonderful bloggy friend. Thank you for that. I'm so excited to see that Sofia has reached viability -- though we hope that we don't get to meet her for another 16 weeks or so!

    I love the updates. Please, keep them coming! I'm also glad to hear about your weight gain. As a fellow WW gal who could stand to lose the 35 IVF pounds I've gained the past year and a half, I also worry about how much weight gain will be appropriate in this pregnancy. And I love hearing about all the other wonderful things I have to look forward to! LOL!

    Anyway, thanks for being a good friend. I don't know that I deserve it -- but I'm grateful for it nonetheless.

    Much love and hugs,

  7. Happy 24 weeks! Viability yay!! I was so excited when you announced your baby girl's name was Sofia and we were naming our girl Sophie -- I just love that name!! =)

    I missed the cuddling in bed, too.