Check Up

18w4d

Started the day at the endocrinologist where I learned that my thyroid is under control thanks to the synthroid I've been taking over the past month.  Yay.  I have to go back monthly to check, but she thinks I'll be just fine and if I want to experiment with coming off of the drugs after delivery we can talk about it.  She still thinks this is a coincidence and has nothing to do with the pregnancy.  I find this hard to believe, but am not going to argue about it now.  (Seriously though, I've had my thyroid checked a zillion times and it's always been normal...seems awful strange that it suddenly turns up wacky now)

Then we were off to the OB (same building, down one floor) where Russ met me for our 4 week check up.  For the first time i wasn't even nervous about them finding a heartbeat because little baby has been letting me know that he/she is in there and active (still only the one true kick, but lots of movement throughout the day).  HB was 150 and she said it was great.  She also said that my the top of my uterus is now at my belly button, so I think that means my belly button should start moving out to reach the rest of my belly soon and I might start looking like a regular pregnant girl.

I specifically asked for an internal exam...She went in and said my cervix was perfectly normal and that everything looked good.  She tested my discharge to confirm that it is not amniotic fluid. =)  She did say that if I notice I'm "leaking a watery substance" I should call.  Umm....yeah, that's why I was nervous last week because I thought I was leaking a watery substance.  I kept asking her how much I should be nervous about and she said "Don't worry unless you're leaking".  Yes, but please define leaking in terms of ounces or something because I'll come in there with one little tiny spot that probably got there after I coughed and peed a little...  The message was clear, though, that I shouldn't worry about leaking but that I can come in any time to get it checked so I guess that should help me for my next round of craziness.  Luckily I have the anatomy scan next Friday and then my 4 week check up in another 4 weeks so I won't really go more than 2 weeks without getting checked in.

They had me make my appointments through mid-June!  Starting in 8 weeks (so I'll be 26 weeks along) I'll start going every 2 weeks!  That seems early, but I don't mind at all.

I am feeling full of joy.  I'm almost out of the denial that this is really happening and I am loving the world that I am entering.  In this world, I am a normal woman expecting a child and all the other stuff is insignificant.  In this world, I barely remember what the anxiety of those trigger shots felt like and the nausea after the egg retrieval is a vague memory.  In this world, I can allow myself to envision Russ and I wheeling our baby in his/her stroller on a beautiful spring day.  In this world, we're a happy little family who had to travel an inconvenient road in order to get here.  In this world, I am almost comfortable revealing these thoughts, but there is still some anxiety in the back of my mind full of "what ifs"...but I'm almost there.  Almost.