Sunday, April 11, 2010

Random thoughts...

19w3d

How did I ever go to Target before we were blessed with this pregnancy?  I remember feeling like it was a nightmare, but man, it had to be hard!  There are NOTHING BUT PREGNANT LADIES THERE!  And I find myself feeling somewhat inferior.  Maybe because I'm not showing like I want to or maybe because there's a carefree attitude that they have that tells me they are clueless about the IF struggle.  Whatever it is, I feel intimidated by them - and there's an army of them there!  I'm not going to say that they're arrogant, but it is the vibe I'm projecting onto them.  That's my issue, though, I'm sure.  My advice to my IF sisters out there still in the midst of the journey, STAY AWAY FROM TARGET.

I'm not eating as healthy as I should.  I'm not eating a ton of food (so not going crazy with the "eating for 2" myth) and in fact aren't even that hungry...but when I do eat, I know I should be making better choices.  Like, ummmm, vegetables maybe?  I suck.  And I'm so surprised that I'm not doing better...I would have thought I'd kick ass in the eating well for the baby part of this.  What a fantasy that was.

Lastly, I'm thinking about going with natural childbirth.  I'm somewhat a control freak (still - IF taught me a lot about my control issues, but they are still back there) and the idea of not being able to feel anything below my waist makes me feel very anxious.  I can handle pain (I think)...but of course I'm scared that it'll be the worst experience ever.  But how bad can it be when you get to meet the baby at the end of it?  I'm just not sure...

3 comments:

  1. I'm already signed up for my epidural, because I'm simply not that tough. Everyone around me will appreciate it in the end.

    I haven't been eating as well as I should either. Before pregnancy, I thought I'd do everything perfectly. Turns out, I'm starving all the time and I want pasta and mexican food. So that theory went out the window!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eating "perfectly" is totally impossible! I too thought I was going to be the model nutritionist during pregnancy after how long we fought to get knocked up, but dammit cheetos just taste too good next to a pile of broccoli!! Oh well...we're all doing what we can. Don't beat yourself up!!

    About natural birth...I have chosen to give it a shot too. In fact I chose my doctor based on his reputation for encouraging women to go through with it instead of trying to push interventions. I'm like you, and hate the idea of being out of control of my body and being forced to lay on my back. I KNOW its going to hurt much more that I could ever imagine, but I'm trying not to fear that...I hear that's the key. Not being fearful of the pain and the labor. Who knows...I am certainly not comdemning drugs cause I might get to the real thing and think I was out of my mind for believing I could do it naturally. I am just going towards it with the intention to go naturally because I believe its best for me and my baby, but if plans need to change then I will certainly not feel like I failed. :)

    XOX

    ReplyDelete
  3. Visiting through Priscilla's blog... so first, Congratulations! Don't worry about the eating. I found that after the first 10 weeks of pregnancy my hunger died down a LOT. Even now I struggle to eat more than I did before getting pregnant. And vegetables? What are those? I almost never have any at dinner so I have to force myself to stock up on them at lunch. And I figure since I (almost) always take my prenatal vitamin, I'm covering the bases, right?

    Also I never had thyroid issues till I got pregnant. My mom does which is why I wasn't surprised when they told me I did at my 13w appt. Also my OB thinks I can come off of synthroid after my 6w post appt.

    ReplyDelete