I've been back to work for three days and am ready for another break!! I know, summer is coming soon and it will be here before I know it. Still, being off was nice. I got to spend every day with my baby girl and I have to say that leaving her yesterday for the first time in over a week was more difficult than I anticipated. I can't imagine what it'll be like when I have her all summer and then have to go back. At least I'm fortunate enough to be able to spend a lot of time with her on these breaks, a luxury that people out in the real world don't have. (I live in the school world, which is far from reality!)
So here's the run down of my week:
- On Friday (a week and a half ago), my mom flew in. That Saturday we had Sofia's photo shoot. It went so well and I'm so happy that we did it! Once we have all of the proofs, i will be sure to share them. I'm very happy with the pictures. Sofia made it through five outfit changes and was pleasant throughout the whole thing. The hard part now is deciding which pictures we want to make into wall photos...so many decisions!!
Friday night, Russ and I went out on our first date night since Sofia has been here! It was very nice. We went to dinner and saw The Color Purple musical that was in town at the National Theater. It's always nice to go into the city, especially one as pretty as DC. We live only 2 miles outside of the city, but we forget sometimes how close we are to some pretty cool things. Russ, who usually dislikes musicals, really loved it and thanked me for broadening his horizons. I am a huge fan of the movie and was actually a little disappointed in the musical. It didn't move me the way the film does. Oh well... My mom did great at home with Sofia. No surprise there, but I relieved to get home.
- On Sunday, Sofia turned 8 months old!!! Yikes, time is flying. Like really flying. Big time. Have I mentioned lately that baby girl has NO TEETH? Where are those little suckers? More on developmental milestones a bit later...
- On Monday, my mom, Sofia, and I drove to Buffalo (about 8 hours away). Sofia did great in the car with mom sitting back there with her. She was an angel and had no problems at all. I was concerned when we got to my house (well, my parents' house but it's the house I grew up in so it'll always be my house too!) and I didn't have my routine established. It was my first time to be with Sofia overnight by myself (well, without Russ at least) and I was worried about how we would sleep and just not being in our own place with our own things is tough. It all worked out very well. Sofia slept on my bed with me. I had a bed rail on one side and then I was on the other. She slept very, very well. We had the option of putting her in the pack n play, but since she doesn't sleep on her own at home (still sleeping on her daddy!), I thought that expecting her to do it away was asking a bit much. She didn't sleep on me, so I counted that as a small victory. The truth is that she would probably sleep just fine on her own if we allowed her the chance.
- On Friday we visited the Easter bunny!!! So much fun! My nephews (Frankie, 5 and Danny, 3) came with us and even sat there with the bunny too. We got a cousins shot!!! Yay!! It couldn't have worked out better, everyone was in happy spirits and it was a great memory. I'll have that photo coming soon - left the large one up in Buffalo so we can't scan it just yet... We also decorated Easter eggs on Friday...it was more of an activity for me and my nephews - Sofia observed. So fun.
- Easter was fantastic! She loved her pretty dress and going through her basket. It was a perfect day.
So, while we were gone, Sofia started crawling full force! Girlfriend is all over the place! Yikes. And on top of that, she's decided that she'll pull herself up and stand whenever possible. This is all happening too fast! I can't deal with the thought of her walking yet! And now I'm concerned about her shoes. Until now, I didn't care too much about shoe quality because she wasn't standing, but now that she is i need to go out and get her some decent shoes. Everyone says Pedipeds, but some swear by Stride Rite - which I'm most comfortable with since it's so tried and true. We'll see...
We're back in her routine now and she was excited to see her babysitters, Doris and Mirna as well as the other little kids that she spends the day with. On Thursdays I teach a parenting class, so i don't get to see her but tomorrow is Friday and we'll have all weekend to soak her up.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Spring break!
Spring Break is next week and I'm wondering if I'm going to have time to post (since I'll be away from both my home computer and my work computer), so I thought I'd post a little something now...
My mom is flying in this evening and will stay with us this weekend and then the three ladies (mom, me, and Sofia) will drive up to Buffalo on Monday. I'm a bit worried about the trip. On our two previous journeys home, Sofia was much younger and slept much more and I was in the back seat with her the whole time. This time, I'm driving and mom will be back there with her. She is much more alert now and interested in every single thing that goes by, so I'm worried that she'll be awake more and will become frustrated with being stuck in her big girl car seat all day. I'm sure it'll work out, but not having Russ with me definitely makes me nervous. He'll fly up there Thursday morning and then we'll come back home on the Monday after Easter.
Speaking of big girl car seats...(I haven't told you about this yet, have I?) Sofia is now in her Britax Marathon 70. At first she hated it! But she's getting used to it. I hate that she seems so far away. We had the infant seat in the middle so it was closer to me while I was driving and I could even stick my hand back there and locate her pacifier or just hold her hand. Now she's behind the passenger seat and I can reach her sort of if I'm stopped at a light and really stretch...it's not the same though. Probably better than she outgrows me holding her hand while I'm driving anyway. Like I said, she is getting used to it. A major disadvantage of the new seat is that when she falls asleep, I have to wake her in order to get her out of the car. I used to just crab the infant carrier and plop it in the stroller and we'd go up to our place (remember I live in a high rise condo and park in a large garage). Now I have to wake her up and put her in the stroller. I have sat in the car a few times and just let her sleep while I read or listened to the radio. I can't bear to wake her at times! I'm looking forward to when the seat will be forward-facing, but they're saying now that they should stay rear facing as long as possible! I was hoping that we'd get to that first birthday and then she'd be accessible. We'll see.
Tomorrow we're doing our first professional pictures. We're having a photographer come to our place. She'll set up her studio here and then we'll also take some outside shots - fingers crossed that the rain will hold off! I'm excited about it and have many outfit changes in mind - there will be a tiara involved! It's the tiara I wore when I got married. I'm so excited!
By the way this won't be Sofia's first official photo shoot - she had that last Sunday. Russ's friend creates a catalog for Volkswagen owners - you can order ANYTHING with a VW on it! There's all kinds of stuff like shirts, bags, grills, housewares, and, of course, baby onesies! So Sofia modeled for it and she will be in the catalog! Can't wait to share once I get the pics!
Sofia will be 8 months old on Sunday. Where did that time go? She's literally going to crawl any second, she's loving food, she's coming into her personality more and more, she has NO TEETH to speak of, she is perfection personified. I love her and have appreciated these 8 months so very much. Thank you, universe!
My mom is flying in this evening and will stay with us this weekend and then the three ladies (mom, me, and Sofia) will drive up to Buffalo on Monday. I'm a bit worried about the trip. On our two previous journeys home, Sofia was much younger and slept much more and I was in the back seat with her the whole time. This time, I'm driving and mom will be back there with her. She is much more alert now and interested in every single thing that goes by, so I'm worried that she'll be awake more and will become frustrated with being stuck in her big girl car seat all day. I'm sure it'll work out, but not having Russ with me definitely makes me nervous. He'll fly up there Thursday morning and then we'll come back home on the Monday after Easter.
Speaking of big girl car seats...(I haven't told you about this yet, have I?) Sofia is now in her Britax Marathon 70. At first she hated it! But she's getting used to it. I hate that she seems so far away. We had the infant seat in the middle so it was closer to me while I was driving and I could even stick my hand back there and locate her pacifier or just hold her hand. Now she's behind the passenger seat and I can reach her sort of if I'm stopped at a light and really stretch...it's not the same though. Probably better than she outgrows me holding her hand while I'm driving anyway. Like I said, she is getting used to it. A major disadvantage of the new seat is that when she falls asleep, I have to wake her in order to get her out of the car. I used to just crab the infant carrier and plop it in the stroller and we'd go up to our place (remember I live in a high rise condo and park in a large garage). Now I have to wake her up and put her in the stroller. I have sat in the car a few times and just let her sleep while I read or listened to the radio. I can't bear to wake her at times! I'm looking forward to when the seat will be forward-facing, but they're saying now that they should stay rear facing as long as possible! I was hoping that we'd get to that first birthday and then she'd be accessible. We'll see.
Tomorrow we're doing our first professional pictures. We're having a photographer come to our place. She'll set up her studio here and then we'll also take some outside shots - fingers crossed that the rain will hold off! I'm excited about it and have many outfit changes in mind - there will be a tiara involved! It's the tiara I wore when I got married. I'm so excited!
By the way this won't be Sofia's first official photo shoot - she had that last Sunday. Russ's friend creates a catalog for Volkswagen owners - you can order ANYTHING with a VW on it! There's all kinds of stuff like shirts, bags, grills, housewares, and, of course, baby onesies! So Sofia modeled for it and she will be in the catalog! Can't wait to share once I get the pics!
Sofia will be 8 months old on Sunday. Where did that time go? She's literally going to crawl any second, she's loving food, she's coming into her personality more and more, she has NO TEETH to speak of, she is perfection personified. I love her and have appreciated these 8 months so very much. Thank you, universe!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Growing too Fast
How is it possible that I have an almost 8 month old? Everyone says that it goes by so fast, but you don't realize what that means until you're there. We do a good job of staying present with her and appreciating the moments. The moments are just so fleeting. She'll do a new cute thing, like blowing bubbles, and after a week she's on to something else. It's like we can literally see her grow and learn. I know that if we tried, we could get her to crawl today. She's so close. But honestly? I'm not encouraging it. Once she's mobile, she's gone! Off to explore and learn and grow some more. She'll get there soon enough and it's not like we're preventing her from crawling, we're just not going behind her and helping her do it.
We got our foam tiles for the "play room". We're turning half of our office into a play area for Sofia. We have hardwood floors, so we needed to find a spot that can be a safe place for her to play independently. We're going to gate in the area and let her be free - well, as free as you can be in a small, gated area. The tiles are 100 times nicer than I expected. They're thick! And soft. We'll put it all together this weekend and I'll hopefully b able to share a pic. If anyone needs foam tile flooring, go to http://www.softtiles.com/ Like I said, they are nice!!
I'm excited about a mommy group that some friends and I are starting. At my school where I work, there are tons of babies being born! And with friends of co-workers, we're going to be able to get a pretty large group going. I'm thankful because all the mommy groups in my area are held during the day when I'm working. Stay at home moms defintely need to connect to other moms as to not feel isolated, but working moms needs support too! So I'm glad we're doing this.
We got our foam tiles for the "play room". We're turning half of our office into a play area for Sofia. We have hardwood floors, so we needed to find a spot that can be a safe place for her to play independently. We're going to gate in the area and let her be free - well, as free as you can be in a small, gated area. The tiles are 100 times nicer than I expected. They're thick! And soft. We'll put it all together this weekend and I'll hopefully b able to share a pic. If anyone needs foam tile flooring, go to http://www.softtiles.com/ Like I said, they are nice!!
I'm excited about a mommy group that some friends and I are starting. At my school where I work, there are tons of babies being born! And with friends of co-workers, we're going to be able to get a pretty large group going. I'm thankful because all the mommy groups in my area are held during the day when I'm working. Stay at home moms defintely need to connect to other moms as to not feel isolated, but working moms needs support too! So I'm glad we're doing this.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Full Circle
The bill came in the mail the other day for our frozen embryo storage. It costs $360 a year to store our two little embies. 360, full circle. Basically a dollar a day. It's less than I thought it was going to be. It's weird to be paying for a bill like that - as if we're storing our holiday decorations or furniture we can't fit in our place. We're storing potential people. Weird.
And it brings me to what I've been thinking about a lot lately. What are we going to do with those two little guys? At this time, we aren't interested in another baby. I realize that could change, but we're very happy with our one little baby girl and life is very manageable both logistically and financially. Another baby? We can't imagine it.
Then there's those two embryos. What to do? I can't thow them away. Russ says we should donate them to an infertile couple (not even sure if that's an option). But those are OUR babies. It's not like egg or sperm donation. This would be our baby! I'm not sure I can do that. But are they better off in a freezer? The ethical dilema is mounting.
So what to do? Wait. I'm sure that a year from now I'll have more clarity about what I want to do. For now $360 a year to keep our options open is a small price to pay.
And it brings me to what I've been thinking about a lot lately. What are we going to do with those two little guys? At this time, we aren't interested in another baby. I realize that could change, but we're very happy with our one little baby girl and life is very manageable both logistically and financially. Another baby? We can't imagine it.
Then there's those two embryos. What to do? I can't thow them away. Russ says we should donate them to an infertile couple (not even sure if that's an option). But those are OUR babies. It's not like egg or sperm donation. This would be our baby! I'm not sure I can do that. But are they better off in a freezer? The ethical dilema is mounting.
So what to do? Wait. I'm sure that a year from now I'll have more clarity about what I want to do. For now $360 a year to keep our options open is a small price to pay.
Friday, March 18, 2011
7 Months!!!
Baby girl hit the big 7 month mark yesterday. Oh, my big girl!!! I thought I'd do a rundown on the stuff she is doing these days:
- Movement: Not sure how she does, but she's moving all around without actually crawling or even rolling that much. She just scooches and wiggles and she's all over the place. Yesterday, I left her on the floor for literally 60-90 seconds to go into the kitchen and when I came back I found her under the couch!
(someone explain to me why all my pictures are sideways! Ugh!) Is she cute or what?
I do believe the crawling will happen any day now and I am crazy thinking about the baby-proofing that has not happened (as evidenced by the cords dangling just inches from her throat in the above pic)
She is standing very solidly while holding on to us or the couch or ottoman. She is also slapping her hands/arms on her legs and can even to it to a beat if I lead her. She is sitting up on her own and is not toppling over hardly at all any more. She doesn't get to a sitting position her own yet but she is almost there.
Talking/Noise: Girlfriend likes to shriek! And make all kinds of noises. Sometimes it sounds like she's saying "yeah" at appropriate times and I swear she is! If one to hear some of the noises she makes, they might think she's in distress, but it's just her playing with her voice. I'm hearing all kinds of sounds, though nothing that sounds like an actual word aside from the "yeah".
Eating/Drinking: Sofia is still on her Nutramigen formula and stage 1/2 baby foods. She LOVES mangoes and pears the best. Sweet potatoes is another favorite along with combos that include spinach. She also eats a multi-grain organic cereal twice a day. I haven't tried anything else like pasta or mashed potatoes, but I think we will soon. We tried the puffs recently and at first she HATED them and acted like we were torturing her - literally cried. We tried it again and she's ok with them. I gave her a num-num biscuit and she was leery of it and ate some. She LOVES to drink water from our glass. I think she likes the cold glass against her mouth. She can take a sip pretty easily. She can also use a straw when she feels like it - very inconsistent there. We've given her grits at restaurants and also some ice cream.
Teeth: Not yet, but she's been drooling like a fool for months! When are these teeth coming???
Sleep: Napping on her own at the babysitters. Napping on us at home. Along with sleeping on daddy all night. We're making progress though. She no longer needs any rocking or motion to get to sleep. We go in her room, turn on the white noise, lay in the chair and she is asleep within a minute. It's great! We can then put her in the crib and she'll stay asleep for a while, but once she wakes up she wants us to hold her. I feel optimistic because I believe she has learned to fall asleep herself (as evidenced by her ability to do it at Doris's and no longer needing motion to fall asleep). I think the next step will be her staying in her crib longer and then doing it all on her own. We'll get there!
Personality: She is the funniest baby ever! She laughs and smiles all the time!!! She rarely cries. This week, I think I've seen actual tears once and that was when we accidentally smashed her fingers in the canopy of her stroller. She shouts when she's hungry, but she just doesn't cry. She's never, ever woken up crying. We're really lucky.
Activities: She LOVES to watch TV. I'm embarrassed. I really didn't want her to watch much, but she laughs and loves it. She literally watched all of american idol (on DVR) the other day and didn't make a move or a peep the whole time! Plus she loves everything on Nick Jr. She loves to jump in her jumperoo and she loves to go for walks. I don't love that we now don't get to see her face on walks because she's not in her car seat anymore, she's in the stroller. I miss seeing her face.
Is there anything else? I'm sure there is.... Most important, she is well loved!!!! My baby girl.
- Movement: Not sure how she does, but she's moving all around without actually crawling or even rolling that much. She just scooches and wiggles and she's all over the place. Yesterday, I left her on the floor for literally 60-90 seconds to go into the kitchen and when I came back I found her under the couch!
I do believe the crawling will happen any day now and I am crazy thinking about the baby-proofing that has not happened (as evidenced by the cords dangling just inches from her throat in the above pic)
She is standing very solidly while holding on to us or the couch or ottoman. She is also slapping her hands/arms on her legs and can even to it to a beat if I lead her. She is sitting up on her own and is not toppling over hardly at all any more. She doesn't get to a sitting position her own yet but she is almost there.
Talking/Noise: Girlfriend likes to shriek! And make all kinds of noises. Sometimes it sounds like she's saying "yeah" at appropriate times and I swear she is! If one to hear some of the noises she makes, they might think she's in distress, but it's just her playing with her voice. I'm hearing all kinds of sounds, though nothing that sounds like an actual word aside from the "yeah".
Eating/Drinking: Sofia is still on her Nutramigen formula and stage 1/2 baby foods. She LOVES mangoes and pears the best. Sweet potatoes is another favorite along with combos that include spinach. She also eats a multi-grain organic cereal twice a day. I haven't tried anything else like pasta or mashed potatoes, but I think we will soon. We tried the puffs recently and at first she HATED them and acted like we were torturing her - literally cried. We tried it again and she's ok with them. I gave her a num-num biscuit and she was leery of it and ate some. She LOVES to drink water from our glass. I think she likes the cold glass against her mouth. She can take a sip pretty easily. She can also use a straw when she feels like it - very inconsistent there. We've given her grits at restaurants and also some ice cream.
Teeth: Not yet, but she's been drooling like a fool for months! When are these teeth coming???
Sleep: Napping on her own at the babysitters. Napping on us at home. Along with sleeping on daddy all night. We're making progress though. She no longer needs any rocking or motion to get to sleep. We go in her room, turn on the white noise, lay in the chair and she is asleep within a minute. It's great! We can then put her in the crib and she'll stay asleep for a while, but once she wakes up she wants us to hold her. I feel optimistic because I believe she has learned to fall asleep herself (as evidenced by her ability to do it at Doris's and no longer needing motion to fall asleep). I think the next step will be her staying in her crib longer and then doing it all on her own. We'll get there!
Personality: She is the funniest baby ever! She laughs and smiles all the time!!! She rarely cries. This week, I think I've seen actual tears once and that was when we accidentally smashed her fingers in the canopy of her stroller. She shouts when she's hungry, but she just doesn't cry. She's never, ever woken up crying. We're really lucky.
Activities: She LOVES to watch TV. I'm embarrassed. I really didn't want her to watch much, but she laughs and loves it. She literally watched all of american idol (on DVR) the other day and didn't make a move or a peep the whole time! Plus she loves everything on Nick Jr. She loves to jump in her jumperoo and she loves to go for walks. I don't love that we now don't get to see her face on walks because she's not in her car seat anymore, she's in the stroller. I miss seeing her face.
Is there anything else? I'm sure there is.... Most important, she is well loved!!!! My baby girl.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
How soon they forget...
People are funny. Didn't I just go through 5 years of infetility? Didn't people witness me being very open about our sturggle and then witness the aftermath of 4 BFN? Did everyone just forget about all that? Because people won't stop asking me if we're ready for another one! I don't mean to be rude, but are these people dumb? They act like I now have some sort of baby making potion. It is as if none of that infertility stuff ever happened.
And so therein lies the struggle between holding on to my IF roots and being treated normal. I don't mind being treated like a normal girl, but it makes for an awkward discussion. I am forced to say "Well.....I'm not really sure how that would happen...you know....since I'm broken and all." True, I have two little babies in the freezer, but more on that later. Clearly, I have exhausted my resources for funding another IVF cycle. But that's when they get really excited and tell me about how every single person they know who went through infertility treatment miraculously became pregnant naturally after they had their first. While I know that these stories exist, I will not be one of them. I basically have no fallopian tubes. This baby would truly be a miracle. And I'm not sure I'm ready for the responsibility that goes along with such a miracle because the divine intervention necessary for it could be a bit intimidating.
So I'm back to smiling and saying "We'll see..." when I don't feel like getting into it. Once an IFer, always an IFer.
And so therein lies the struggle between holding on to my IF roots and being treated normal. I don't mind being treated like a normal girl, but it makes for an awkward discussion. I am forced to say "Well.....I'm not really sure how that would happen...you know....since I'm broken and all." True, I have two little babies in the freezer, but more on that later. Clearly, I have exhausted my resources for funding another IVF cycle. But that's when they get really excited and tell me about how every single person they know who went through infertility treatment miraculously became pregnant naturally after they had their first. While I know that these stories exist, I will not be one of them. I basically have no fallopian tubes. This baby would truly be a miracle. And I'm not sure I'm ready for the responsibility that goes along with such a miracle because the divine intervention necessary for it could be a bit intimidating.
So I'm back to smiling and saying "We'll see..." when I don't feel like getting into it. Once an IFer, always an IFer.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Photograph of my mind
Oh my baby girl! Allow me to gush...
Sofia is the happiest, silliest, most peaceful, loving baby in the world. How did we get so lucky? She is a dream come true that I never even had the audacity to dream of. I get to be her mom forever? What a PRIVILEGE.
Baby girl has just been extra crazy cute lately and it fills me with bursting joy. She literally smiles or laughs every moment she's awake. Gushing will stop now. Or at least I'll try. (Notice I didn't even mention once how BEAUTIFUL she is?)
I've had some new readers on my blog lately (a dear co-worker and family) and they've been going back and reading some of my early posts. This prompted me to go back and read my story from the beginning. In a word - wow. There's comfort in knowing that I was always crazy =) , but man how did you people put up with my ups and downs and doom and gloom? Thanks for hanging in there. What I realized most from rereading my blog is that I'm really writing this for me. What a wonderful way to document a significant time in my life. I realized that not only do I need to blog more, but I have to tell my story - the good, the bad, the beautiful. So hopefully, I'll take the time to write more and to focus on the ways our family is growing and learning. I'd like to think of it of a photograph of my mind that will help me remember this time. Let's hope I follow through.
To be honest, rereading some of my entries made me laugh out loud and cry. I had forgotten some things, particulalry how I described finding out IVF might be our only chance. I said that I "howled" outside the door waiting for the elevator and that is so true. I hate thinking about it, but it was an awful, unexpected moment. It reminded me of how far we've come. It helped me remember that miracles happen. Is there something bigger than a miracle? If there is, I've got it. She's beyond a miracle. She is joy and love personified.
Gushed again. My bad.
Sofia is the happiest, silliest, most peaceful, loving baby in the world. How did we get so lucky? She is a dream come true that I never even had the audacity to dream of. I get to be her mom forever? What a PRIVILEGE.
Baby girl has just been extra crazy cute lately and it fills me with bursting joy. She literally smiles or laughs every moment she's awake. Gushing will stop now. Or at least I'll try. (Notice I didn't even mention once how BEAUTIFUL she is?)
I've had some new readers on my blog lately (a dear co-worker and family) and they've been going back and reading some of my early posts. This prompted me to go back and read my story from the beginning. In a word - wow. There's comfort in knowing that I was always crazy =) , but man how did you people put up with my ups and downs and doom and gloom? Thanks for hanging in there. What I realized most from rereading my blog is that I'm really writing this for me. What a wonderful way to document a significant time in my life. I realized that not only do I need to blog more, but I have to tell my story - the good, the bad, the beautiful. So hopefully, I'll take the time to write more and to focus on the ways our family is growing and learning. I'd like to think of it of a photograph of my mind that will help me remember this time. Let's hope I follow through.
To be honest, rereading some of my entries made me laugh out loud and cry. I had forgotten some things, particulalry how I described finding out IVF might be our only chance. I said that I "howled" outside the door waiting for the elevator and that is so true. I hate thinking about it, but it was an awful, unexpected moment. It reminded me of how far we've come. It helped me remember that miracles happen. Is there something bigger than a miracle? If there is, I've got it. She's beyond a miracle. She is joy and love personified.
Gushed again. My bad.
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