distracted

15 w1d

I'm having a terrible time concentrating on work.  (I'm here now - shhhhh!)

All I can think about is the many, many decisions we have before us.  There is time left, but not a lot.  Before we know it, that baby will here.  I'm consumed with checking out cribs and day care providers.  I just want things done so I can relax and not worry.  I told Russ I was worried about finding furniture and he was so offended (sort of).  He couldn't believe that with everything we've been through, I'm allowing myself to let furniture bring me anxiety.  I know - but the crazy had to go some place, right?

OK, so my belly is deformed.  I have always had a pouchy lower belly - right under my belly button.  I've had this since birth practically and have proof in the form of a picture of me at 3 years old in a bikini where you can count my ribs but can clearly see my little belly under my belly button.  Since then, my little belly has become larger...which is why I have been known to say that I've looked pregnant for years.  The weird thing is that when I gain weight, I gain some under my belly button and some above it, but my "waist" (I'm considering that the place where my belly button resides) stays the same.  So now that I'm gaining baby belly weight, it's coming on in a way that I was afraid of.  Over and under but my belly button still goes in.  So I look like a round pillow where someone has sewn a button in the middle really tightly.  I sort of look like a donut - the kind where the hole isn't distinct because it's a nice, fat donut.  Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I just look fat.  And I need my belly button to push out so that I look pregnant.  And, no, I am NOT posting pictures of this! =)