I know this may sound ridiculous (like "duh") but it's starting to occur to me that this whole baby thing may not happen. Maybe I'm a little slow, but I think it's pretty close to being a lost cause. Man, that's depressing. I've never really allowed myself to think that it won't happen before, but after that conversation yesterday it's hard to deny the facts.
I'm one of those women. The ones who people have to monitor themselves around and say to others "Shhh...be careful...she can't have children" in a hushed tone as someone else starts conversations about babies.
I am THAT girl?
Who would have thought?
Now, I know the (g-damn) bright side. Adoption is wonderful on lots of levels. Not only do we get a baby, but we get to make the difference in the life of someone who otherwise might not get a chance.
Now don't go telling me "Don't worry, it'll work this time." Really? Will it? Because I think it won't and I know more about this crap than you do. =) (can't help but smile) Maybe it will work. But it probably won't.
My apologies. As you can tell, I'm in a negative place right now. I'm sure I'll return to my normal state of mind soon. ("normal" being a relative term of course)