Sunday, November 22, 2009

Welcome to my world

I'm feeling strangely healthy emotionally.  Haven't been in touch with this in a while so I will savor it.  Had an awesome talk with Russ you know I have a nagging worry that he'll leave me for someone more reproductively capable should this baby thing not work out.  My fun emotional outbursts can't be helping that cause so I asked him if I was sucking the life out of him.  I mean, really.  It has to be exhausting to take care of this (me).  No surprise that he reinforced the fact that I'm his life and responsibility and that of course I'll be emotional but that we're doing very very well all things considered.  I might even suggest that we're coming through this stronger than ever.  It was a great talk.

I KNOW.  Those of you who know Russ want to punch me in the face for thinking he'd leave me over this.  I KNOW.  But it's hard being a physiological defect and it brings about huge insecurities.  It was a great talk though, that I really needed.

OK, now thinking about all that has caused me to tear up and I'm not feeling as emotionally healthy as I was when I started typing.  Crap.  Welcome to my world.

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