Sunday, November 1, 2009 sad

This sucks.

Still crying everyday and that seems excessive.  Went out for my great Sangria bash last night and had to leave the table for fear of blubbering all over everyone.  I just wanted to go home.  But then it got much much better...  I don't get why this is so hard this time.  Don't get me wrong - I'm not sitting around all day crying - just a little here and there.  But I should be past this by now.  Hormones.  I know.

I keep forgetting that the cycle is over.  I was at a football game at my school Friday night and kids were running around and I kept protecting myself from getting pushed and bumped.  I feel like it's all still in there and I need to be careful.  Yes, i feel insane.

How many pregnant ladies were there in Target yesterday?  Four.  And they're sooooooo arrogant.  =)  Walking around with their big bellies.  Remember when maternity wear used to be all big and unattractive? You sometimes didn't know if someone ws pregnant or just a heavy person?  Not now.  Now they all walk around with their little balls in front of them.  Look at me!  I have a person growing in me.  Show-offs.  I see them and fantasize that they went through treatments too so that I can be happy for them.  I feel like if they had to work at it, maybe they appreciate it more.  Unlike my co-worker who is 9 months and ready to pop and sighs and complains all day.  Poor thing.  I feel sooooo sad for you and the baby you'll meet likely this week.  Not.  It's not that I'm unhappy for those who conceive naturally, it's just that I don't think those women have a clue.  They take it for granted and don't realize how lucky they are.  Hopefully they have a friend like me and can realize how blessed they are to not be in my shoes.

Yeah, so I guess I'm having a down day.  Sorry.  I just feel so sad.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, you deserve to feel as sad as you want- and even in public! I hear ya on the pregnant women out and about around town. That started to really really bother me because why couldn't I have that, too? Didn't I deserve it- I mean, I'm a TEACHER of SPECIAL ED kids- doesn't that give us points of some kind??? My favorite was when I was in the ladies' room at a wedding of younger people and a woman was complaining to her friends... "Oh my God, I might be pregnant and I'm freaking out." She was worried her boyfriend wasn't careful enough and get this... even complained that she probably couldn't go out drinking for a long time if she was. I almost punched that bitch in the face. Well, actually, I went outside and balled my eyes out! So, you're not strange and you're not alone in those feelings. And whenever you wanna punch me in the face, just let me know and I'll be there (with a boxing mask on)! ;)