So now we wait

So insurance must have gone through because my medication is ordered and on its way! Cycle 4 should take place in little over 3 weeks. Yay!!! So now I have to get myself off caffeine and artificial sweetener. Maybe one more weekend of it and then I'll stop?

Did I mention that Dr. Browne said that if there isn't a successful pregnancy after the 4th IVF attempt, the chances of it working ever (like in future attempts) go way way down? Great. Talk about pressure. This could be our last chance. But I know it really isn't. So what if chances go down? I think we have $$ for one more after this. But what am I talking about? This cycle is going to work, right?

I asked Russ if he'll leave me if I can't have his kids. He said of course not. I thought it was a fast answer and that he doesn't know what he'll do until we're in the situation. Of course he's fabulous and I'm really not worried but all I'm saying is that you don't know what you're going to do until you're in a situation and he hasn't really thought about not being able to have kids of his own and if that becomes a reality I just wonder...and worry. Because all I do is worry. Anyone who knows us and is reading this will say that I am crazy. That's true. Regardless I worry about that.

So now we wait. About 3 and 1/2 more weeks. Then the shots begin and the appt.s and the blood draws, and the sonograms (you know, the fun internal ones). That part doesn't bother me that much. Even though there will be a time when we'll do 4 shots a day. What really bothers me is the wait between the transfer and the pregnancy test. Two of the longest weeks ever where I practically lose my mind. How anyone can possibly not be stressed during that time I have no idea. So that's something to look forward to.