Saturday, January 9, 2010


Since the obvious goal for most of us here is to become pregnant, I was always disappointed when ladies I'd been following finally do get positive results only to drastically decrease their blog posting frequency.  I would think to myself "Wait!  Now that you're PG, don't leave us out!!  I want to know what this time is like!  Please don't stop sharing!"  I have to be honest and say that I sort of thought that they had bigger and better things to do now that they were on the other side and they had now sort of left us behind.  I even once thought that maybe they didn't want to be jinxed by us IFers out there now that they were normal and expecting. 

Well...I think I figured it out.

As my husband knows only too well, all of that was just my mind working overtime again.

The reason why PG bloggers decrease they're blogging is because THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY.

Oh, I could go on and on and on about my fears (though those are subsiding) and anticipation (though I'm still not ready to embrace the fun and exciting possibilities),but I really don't have anything new to say. 

I feel like a completely normal, non-pregnant person in the morning and then in the evening I get dizzy and nauseous and crampy.  Same ol thing.

What is exciting is the ultrasound on Monday.  It feels like it's been forever.  I'm hopeful that we'll see our little guy with our own eyes and that will make it real.

By the way, I bought the Dr. Oz baby book and I'm really not impressed.  I'm only 1/3 of the way through, but so far it's not meeting my needs.  It's good information,but not as specific as I'd like.  In a way though, it makes me relax a little because he doesn't talk about a ton of stuff to avoid and that makes me happy to think that maybe i don't have to be so hyper about everything.  He even said that artificial sweetener is fine (there's no study to say that it's bad - which was shocking to me because I thought there was indisputable proof that it effected brain development) but that it's probably not a good idea to fill a growing fetus with chemicals.  Anyway, maybe it'll get better, but i have sort of stopped reading it.

Finally, two bloggy friends have experienced the worst this week.  One miscarried at 11 weeks and the other at 6 weeks.  While my heart aches for them, what I really am is f-ing pissed off at the world about it.  I'm not saying that anyone deserves a miscarriage, but couldn't people who have already been through so much be spared?  My 6 week PG friend was on the exact same track as me (same retrieval date, same due date) and I was so excited to share all the milestones with her.  Of course this also reminded me of how easily this could all go away (like I needed that's all I think about).  Every time IVF didn't work for me, I always just said that "well, those just weren't our kids".  They just weren't.  I mean they were, but not the ones we would know and love.  It helped me to think that ours were yet to be made and that for some reason ours just weren't ready to go yet.  My miscarriage last year was at 6w1d, but I never really thought I as pg anyway since our numbers were so low all along - I never had that OMG we;re pregnant moment, so i feel like it doesn't count.  Anyway, there aren't words to try and comfort people who are in such a tragic situation, but I just hope that the pain eases quickly and they find peace in their hearts soon.


  1. Tracey,

    Thank you so much for your support this week, both here and on my blog. Your comments gave me such hope and echo what I'm feeling now. I'm still going to poke in on you, though it may get harder as we go along. Who knows? I remain THRILLED for you as you have been on this journey a very, very long time and you so deserve the happiness and good fortune that is coming your way.

    I, too, was looking forward to comparing notes and sharing this journey. Now, you'll have to do all the research for me! Then, when my time comes, you'll already know everything and can reassure me, ok?

    Please don't feel bad and stop commenting on my blog, either. You have a way of making me feel so much better -- I would hate to lose that in addition to all that I've already lost.

    Big hugs, and hoping for some great pics on Monday!


  2. I am so so sorry to hear about your friends. :( It really isn't fair and what hurts so much is just not being to understand WHY this happens to GREAT people who deserve the world.

    But I'm glad you'll continue posting b/c even if there's nothing to talk about, it is still fun. ;)

  3. I have thought the same thing about pg bloggers. Please don't stop blogging.

    I was devastated by both of these blogs as well. Life is so unfair! Once we finally fall pregnant we should never miscarry.

  4. I am so sad for your friends' losses. It seems completely unfair that someone could struggle so long to GET pregnant and then miscarry.

    Don't stop blogging. I am trying to keep up my own writing, too, because I never liked it when people got pregnant and then vanished.

  5. Those two losses are incredibly sad and totally unfair!!! It broke my heart to learn about them. :(

    I know exactly what you mean about how easy it is to blog and blog when we're going through infertiltiy treatments, but when we actaully get pregnant its hard to think of anything to write about other than the immense amount of fear we're experiencing. I'm committed to my blog no matter how insignificant my post become...Look at me these days...I'm bitching about my insensitive doctor. Haha.

    Dont stop blogging!!! I'd really miss you!! :)