6w2d

Since the obvious goal for most of us here is to become pregnant, I was always disappointed when ladies I'd been following finally do get positive results only to drastically decrease their blog posting frequency.  I would think to myself "Wait!  Now that you're PG, don't leave us out!!  I want to know what this time is like!  Please don't stop sharing!"  I have to be honest and say that I sort of thought that they had bigger and better things to do now that they were on the other side and they had now sort of left us behind.  I even once thought that maybe they didn't want to be jinxed by us IFers out there now that they were normal and expecting. 

Well...I think I figured it out.

As my husband knows only too well, all of that was just my mind working overtime again.

The reason why PG bloggers decrease they're blogging is because THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY.

Oh, I could go on and on and on about my fears (though those are subsiding) and anticipation (though I'm still not ready to embrace the fun and exciting possibilities),but I really don't have anything new to say. 

I feel like a completely normal, non-pregnant person in the morning and then in the evening I get dizzy and nauseous and crampy.  Same ol thing.

What is exciting is the ultrasound on Monday.  It feels like it's been forever.  I'm hopeful that we'll see our little guy with our own eyes and that will make it real.

By the way, I bought the Dr. Oz baby book and I'm really not impressed.  I'm only 1/3 of the way through, but so far it's not meeting my needs.  It's good information,but not as specific as I'd like.  In a way though, it makes me relax a little because he doesn't talk about a ton of stuff to avoid and that makes me happy to think that maybe i don't have to be so hyper about everything.  He even said that artificial sweetener is fine (there's no study to say that it's bad - which was shocking to me because I thought there was indisputable proof that it effected brain development) but that it's probably not a good idea to fill a growing fetus with chemicals.  Anyway, maybe it'll get better, but i have sort of stopped reading it.

Finally, two bloggy friends have experienced the worst this week.  One miscarried at 11 weeks and the other at 6 weeks.  While my heart aches for them, what I really am is f-ing pissed off at the world about it.  I'm not saying that anyone deserves a miscarriage, but couldn't people who have already been through so much be spared?  My 6 week PG friend was on the exact same track as me (same retrieval date, same due date) and I was so excited to share all the milestones with her.  Of course this also reminded me of how easily this could all go away (like I needed that reminder...it's all I think about).  Every time IVF didn't work for me, I always just said that "well, those just weren't our kids".  They just weren't.  I mean they were, but not the ones we would know and love.  It helped me to think that ours were yet to be made and that for some reason ours just weren't ready to go yet.  My miscarriage last year was at 6w1d, but I never really thought I as pg anyway since our numbers were so low all along - I never had that OMG we;re pregnant moment, so i feel like it doesn't count.  Anyway, there aren't words to try and comfort people who are in such a tragic situation, but I just hope that the pain eases quickly and they find peace in their hearts soon.