7 weeks

So it's still early, but then I think to myself that it's almost 2 months and 2 months sounds like a long time.  And then I realize that the mind tricks are starting again...Wednesday we have ultrasound #2 and it can't get here fast enough.  Then I have an appt with my OB on Feb. 4.

My mother (who is normally not annoying at all, I swear!) is making me second guess my doctors, our hospital and even the prenatal vitamins I'm taking. She said "Are you sure your doctor is the best?  Have you researched them?  What about the hospital?  You take over the counter prenatals?  Oh."  She works for an OB/Gyn and has much knowledge...  And then the kicker was when we were discussing miscarriage rates at this stage in an attempt to both ease our minds and not get too excited since it's still so early.  She actually asked me if the miscarriage rate at 6 weeks was.. "what?  50/50?"  MOM!  No.  Of course at the time I had no figures in my head but knew that it is not 50%! So then I looked it up and its 5%.  So perhaps she doesn't have as much knowledge as I thought.  I just don't get why at this time I'm seeing this side of her that is making me feel so insecure!  I know it's all coming out of love and concern, but I've never had this issue before.  Do you know she still makes me feel bad about not getting my first beta up in Buffalo over winter break?  "Too bad we could have celebrated together..."  This whole thing is bringing out the worst in her and I'm afraid it might get even worse.  And I'm hesitant to even type it and put this thought concretely out in the world, but it almost makes me glad that I live far away.  But I know that no matter how these little annoyances bother me, the joy we would get about having her close would far surpass it.  (See how I had to recover really quickly there?  I have a fear that I'll die and then this blog will be out there for the whole world to see, and it could be viewed as my final thoughts and then my mom will read this and it will haunt her forever.  What?  You didn't know I was certifiably crazy?  Oh.  I thought I made that evident months ago.)  And PLEASE, no one comment about how my mom needs to mind her business.  I just had to vent about it, but I'll fight to the death if anyone else says something negative about her!  =)  (come on, you know how that goes...)

So at this moment I'm rather nauseous.  Yay!  Not that I want to puke my guts up, but puking in general would be quite comforting.  I was woken up again last night with cramps and nausea.  These little things help confirm that there is life in there doing it's thing.