I know I'm being ridiculous and I know what everyone will say (but please still say it anyway - I obviously need to hear it!)...it's just that I don't feel pregnant. I was lying in bed before my alarm went off and just got the feeling like I was back to normal.
One of the reasons why this is ridiculous is because last night I spent a good 2 hours on the couch because I felt so queasy and icky. I've been getting this feeling like I used to get right before my and during my period. It's not so much cramps, but more of a full body ache. I don't know if anyone else has ever felt it, but it almost feels like cramps that go down into your legs and up all over the abdomen and it puts me right out of commission from doing anything. Over this past week it's been accompanied by the usual nausea and chills. It last for a little while, usually 30-45 minutes and then goes away. This used to always happen to me in high school. Once I started the pill I never had it again. But that's what been happening to me...not typical pregnancy symptom, but it's something.
But that's all I've been feeling and I need more symptoms to convince me that we have a keeper here. Keep in mind that my mother never had one pregnancy symptom throughout both of her pregnancies. She says that she wouldn't have known anything was different had it not been for occasional kicking. She says she never felt so good in her life, full of energy. So maybe that will be me, right?
I want to ask for a 4th beta...better to get bad news now than wait for Monday. But I'm nervous about that too.
OK, I need to get my head on straight and realize that all this is normal and there is a little guy or two in me and I need to relax!!! There is no way that I could sense something being wrong...except for that I think of course I would sense it and I am sensing it.
Obviously I've been up too long and I'm sleepy (and about to start my day - great!) and crazy. Sorry to ramble about all my insecurities...I know I need to cherish this time, but that a challenge for me right now.
In better news I saw pregnant women at Target the other day and did not want to punch them in the face!! I was happy to see them. More on that experience later...only significant because I was in the baby section buying stuff for a friend and for the first time in forever it was no big deal to be there! Although I wasn't excited to be there and look at stuff either. Caution. You know.
OK, off to getting ready for work...maybe I'll throw up today!!