Not the best quality, but the peanut-shaped thing in the black blog is him/her! The head is pointing left. Aw...looks just me. =)
OK, so you think that after having this picture only 3 days ago and seeing that strong heartbeat, I would be feeling great! And I was! i was talking about things and really getting excited. I even read yesterday about miscarriages (on weekly baby center update) and I learned that at 8 weeks with a heartbeat detected, the likelihood if miscarriages drops significantly. I was feeling great. Then last night, I started to fill with anxiety. I felt a weird sensation in my belly - not pain at all, more like a flutter (I KNOW it wasn't the baby! But it's what I would think it would feel like - like a tickle or something) and it freaked me out for some reason. Also, I'm getting little twinges that feel like they're coming from my cervix - literally it happened maybe 3 times. Again, not pain. Just an awareness or something. I can't explain it. I keep telling myself that with all of the changes happening in my body, I am going to feel weird things! I know. But I'm scared.
So I really think that if I were rich I would buy a sono machine so that I could check in with the peanut as often as I like. But I'm not rich.
I'm sure everything is fine. It's morning and it seems that in the morning I feel the most normal and non-pregnant, whatever that means. So the fact that I feel nothing right now is exactly normal.
I need to relax. I know! It'll be fine.
OK, so my birthday was fabulous! One of my best friends broke into my office to leave me my favorite hot chocolate from Caribou! Mmmm... If you have a Caribou Coffee near you and you haven't tried the new hot chocolate, run right now to get some. It's crazy ridiculous good. Please no one remind me that there;s caffeine in chocolate, OK? It can't be that much, right? But seriously it tastes like a cup of melted chocolate. Then my love-fest team (one of the teams of teachers I work with who are the best and we constantly tell each other how great we think each other is) threw a party for me. I knew it was coming because we always celebrate birthdays big, but it was extra special. It was really nice. Their gifts were mostly baby-related (baby books and stuff) and I got all blubbery thanking them for not only the party but for being so supportive over my IVF journey. I HATE crying at work. But it's all good...
OK, back to positive thinking and realizing that we are going to meet this little peanut one soon. I'll try!
Awww your peanut is SO cute! Spitting image of his/her mama. =) Don't forget that your uterus is busy expanding and weird feelings come with the territory ... try not to worry too much.
ReplyDeleteAlso: happy birthday! That hot chocolate sounds amazing!
Glad you had a great Birthday and also glad I wished you a Happy Birthday early because I never made it by yesterday! The hot chocolate sounds divine!!! MMM wish we had one near us!
ReplyDeleteI think your worries are completely normal.....I agree with sonja, with your body going through so many changes right now, you are going to feel weird twitches, flutters and sensations. Just keep reminding yourself of that. You will get through this and hopefully as time passes your confidence grows. It's hard to trust in anything, especially after being an IF who gets dissappointed time and time again. But this is it, it's real, it's happening!!!!
Thanks for your support, as always. It's a long curvey twisted road...it's nice to have friends along the way who have been there and know the torment.
Oh and peanut is adorable, I think he/she looks like you too! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's the cutest peanut I've ever seen!! :) Happy (belated) Birthday!! Your coworkers sound wonderful and I bet it was amazing to be so supported through your IVF joureny!
ReplyDeleteI have had cervial twinges too for weeks now...some actually hurt a little. My uterus has been crampy off and on as well. It used to really freak me out, but I'm slowly being able to not worry as much. I keep telling myself to trust my baby and believe in my uterus' ability and take a deep relaxing breath.
I hope you're able to shed the fear soon!! I'm still so overjoyed for your success after so many attempts. You are truly and inspiration...I know many women wouldn't have gone through what you have! What a WONDERFUL MIRACLE!!!! xox
I agre with everyone about your body just going through changes. I'm sure it's normal stuff. Glad you had a good birthday!
ReplyDeletePraying that your peanut will continue to grow and be healthy so it's mama won't worry as much!
Just found your blog and wanted you to know how encouraging it is to me that you never gave up! Congrats and Happy Birthday! And I am definitely putting Caribou Coffee Hot Chocolate on my to do list.
ReplyDeleteLove that picture!!!! Your peanut is precious and for some reason, I have a feeling it's a girl. What do you think?? ;) I'm so so so so happy for y'all! Are you feeling okay?
ReplyDeleteOh, and P.S.... Stop searching on google!!!! It will only drive you crazy!!! ;)
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