High hopes?

Woke up this morning with no voice mail from the clinic, so I assumed that the transfer was on.  As the nurse advised me, though, I called just to be sure.  I heard back at 10:30 that we were still going ahead with the transfer at 1:15.  I was a little disappointed, but mostly felt panic because I of all the little things I didn't get done on Saturday (grocery shopping and things like that) and I was worried about being stuck in bed for the next few days.  So we go all dressed and ready to go.  The clinic where the embryos are is a good 45 minutes away, but the weather was bad so we left an hour early.   Right about noon they called to say the embryologist took another look and moved us to day 5!  Our embryos are growing so big and strong that they can't figure out who the top 4 are!  This is great news!  Day 5 transfers have a higher success rate and the news made my hopes go up a little bit...but I hope not too high.

I still have one foot in reality - I know what could happen over the next 2 days.  I realize that things could change and that by Tuesday, we may not even have 4 blasts to put in.  The thing is that if they don't make it in the dish, the probably wouldn't have made it in me, so if some don't it's ok - they weren't our babies anyway.  I do wonder if they'll put 4 blasts back at all.  Since a blast is more likely to implant, I would think it's risky to put 4 back and I'm a little nervous about that.  And yet, I want the 4 to go back to boost our chances.  But what if they all take?  Ugh...it's hard.  Reality and statistics tell me that it is highly unlikely all 4 will make it in me, so I should not worry.

So now I had a chance to get to the store and stock up on healthy food to eat while on bed rest.  Yes, they only recommended 24 hours of bed rest, but I take 48 - so what?  After the 24 hours, it's supposed to be 2-3 days of "light activity" and for me that will means being horizontal.  I am taking no chances. 

Have I mentioned the joys of the endometrum suppositories?  I particularly love the crumbs (sorry - that's the only way I can describe it) that come flying out sometimes (yes, those moments might be when I am being particularly aggressive with my wiping - see fall post about stress and my cooch)...it's not so much discharge as it is particles that go everywhere.  Gross.  Other times it's more like Elmer's Glue.  Lovely.  Maybe I could put together a craft project!