Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I'm a permanent fixture

I had my first monitoring appt today.  I have 4 follicles on my right and 4 on my left, all under 10 mm.  This is very, very typical for me as I'm a slow starter.  I go back Thursday.

As this is my 5th time going through this, I'm noticing pity looks from the staff at my clinic.  I know they mean well, but I feel like I depress them.  The doctor (not my doc, but the one who was there today) looked at me today and said "I really hope this one works out for you"  and he looked at me like he was going to cry.  I appreciated his sentiment and even the sadness he shared with me, but I felt very pathetic.  I feel like a piece of furniture in that office.  Like if they inventoried their office i would be on the list ("2 reception desks, 18 chairs, 3 sonogram machines, Tracey").  I'm a permanent fixture there. 

We've only been doing shots since Saturday and my belly is SO BRUISED already!  WTF?  And they've been hurting so bad too.  My wimpy ass even uses ice before so i do not get it at all. 

I'm trying to do yoga every single day to "open my energy channels".  We'll see what that does.  I'm really losing hope that there are any tricks out there.  But I'll still try them all!

OK, time for shots.  More updates on Thursday...


  1. I love your writing Tracey!! I am right here with you through this 5th cycle...and like your sympathetic doc, I too hope this is IT for you!!! Fingers crossed that you have success and that they "re-decorate" so you don't have to be a permanent fixture any longer!! xoxo

  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm glad to 'meet' a fellow Shady Grover. Are you currently in their shared risk program?

    This whole IF journey is quite the roller coaster. I hope and pray that this will be the last cycle you have to go through.

  3. Love making new bloggy friends! Cycle #5? What a journey you have been on. I am praying this will be your cycle. I am going to have to read back through your blog to get the whole back story.

    I hope that this is your LAST holiday season without a little one. What a wonderful gift that would be!

  4. So I was reading through your back story and realized your husband's name is Russ Johnson. I have an uncle names Russ Johnson. I'm sure it is a fairly common name, but still I thought it was pretty cool!