Wednesday, December 16, 2009


What a difference a day makes.

Yesterday started out fabulously as we learned that we had some power blasts going back in.  I struggled last night with feelings of great anticipation and anxiety.  And, like always, immediately had a nightmare.  I don't usually have bad dreams, but I always do as soon as I have our embryo transfer!  I feel asleep and within 5 minutes I dreamed that Russ and I were on a train and it got crazy bumpy and jumped the tracks and crashed into a cement wall.  I experienced the feeling of "This is it, we're going to die".  I woke up immediately - Russ was still up watching TV and couldn't believe how fast I went to sleep and had the nightmare - he said I had been asleep for only 5 minutes or so.  I hope I don't have too many more, but in past cycles I have had lots.

OK, so this morning starts with FANTASTIC NEWS!  We have 2 frozen blasts!!!!  I started crying when my nurse told me.  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.  Why?  Because now I know, no matter what, that this cycle is not my last.  We already have more waiting for us.  And it also indicates that we are having a powerhouse cycle, giving me more hope that one of the 3 will work.  I can't explain how different I feel about everything.  I want to go out and sing Christmas carols and roll around in some snow and bake cookies.  In other words, I am in the spirit - something I had been avoiding for weeks.  Yes, I'm still going into another holiday season childless, but at least I have a big, huge bucket of hope that I didn't have before. 

Wooooo hooooo!!!


  1. two balsts! That's wonderful news. I think I would have a huge bucket of hope as well. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!!

  2. 'Tis the season for miracles. Great eggs, great blasts...great betas must be next. Fingers crossed!


  3. Congratulations on great news. 2 Frosties.

  4. That is wonderful, wonderful news.

  5. This all sounds wonderful! So encouraging! Revel in that positive feeling you have -- happy holidays and best wishes for this cycle!

    -here from LFCA

  6. How exciting for you, I can totally understand why you would feel so great about this cycle!! I have never done IVF so thanks for spelling out what a lot of this means in your posts, it really helps me to understand whats involved in the process should we ever have to go down this path.

    I am sending (more) positive vibes your way and wishing you an all around successful cycle!!!