It can work!

And we're moving right along.  Another monitoring appt today where I had 5 follicles that were around 12mm and 6 that were less than 10mm (so they don't measure them).  That's about right for me for this time.  They're starting my ganirelix tomorrow which means that they think I'll trigger in the next 5 days or so.  I really want to trigger soon because I'm worried that I'll run out of meds and even though we have insurance coverage for the procedures, my prescription coverage is maxxed out and we have to pay and those meds are SO EXPENSIVE!!!  And I take sooo much.  Tomorrow I move up to 300 of gonal-f in the morning and another 150 at night.  Also at night is 225 of menopur and one syringe of ganirelix.  4 shots a day.  If someone had told me 5 years ago that this is what I'd be doing one day I would have never believed it. 

The shots really aren't bad at all though.  BY FAR the worst part is the wait time until the test.  One of my blogger friends (Hi Cilla!) has her test tomorrow and man I just hope and pray it's positive!  I have to say it's weird to care so much about someone I've never met.  I know I'll cry at her news tomorrow - no matter what the outcome.  And i know (far too well) what a difficult day tomorrow will be.  And I'll have my own day like that in a few weeks.  It's excruciating.  You play little games with your mind, analyze every single teeny feeling you have and wonder if it's an indicator of good or bad news.  It's really awful.  And then the call comes and no matter what the answer (OK, I don't know what it's like to get good news, but I know what bad news sounds like and even once got a "Um...we're just not sure yet" -- my HCG was 15) it feels like a relief because at least I know.  And when it's bad news, it takes a while to remember that you don't have to be careful about carrying and lifting things.  You can have Splenda in your tea.  Oh, and that Malibu and diet coke?  That's fine too.  But for me it takes a while to get back in that mode and every time I say "No, I can't have coffee right now" and then remember that I can - because I'm not pregnant, it's like getting the news all over again.  So basically it sucks.

Sorry to get so negative there.  BIG BOLD POSITVE VIBES out to everyone who is in this right now.  It can work!!! (I would be a non-example of that, but don't let that discourage you)  Despite the reality of the situation, I have been the best mood today!!  I love this part of the process - the hormones start shaking up and I feel so goood!  I hope it continues.  =)